Missed a Day
Apparently I now owe you an extra update. I had been trying to do daily updates, but missed last’s night’s due to a $#@&*ing Light.
The $#@&*ing Light
So it’s no secret that I don’t have much energy. It’s getting somewhat better, but still not great. The more I push it, the more tired I get and the harder I sleep. I find I have a good 30 minutes of energy to get minor things done. After that, it’s just kind of down hill. An update on Caringbridge takes 45-60 minutes, so it’s somewhat of a battle to get one out right now. But that is before taking into account the $#@&*ing Light.
We are getting rid of cable. That was actually in the works before I relapsed, but budget wise it makes even more sense now. We have had u-Verse for many years but are switching to Comcast because their internet only plan is cheaper and apparently I like poor customer service. The Comcast guy set up our new internet when I was in the hospital and when I returned it wasn’t working. I’ve been working with computers since middle school and have done network setups since college. I sat down to fix the internet, thinking it would be a quick fix, but that was before the $#@&*ing Light.
Trying all my tricks (which at a basic level involves turning everything off and back on again), I wasn’t getting anywhere. No matter what I did, that $#@&*ing Light wouldn’t change. I totally reset the modem. Totally reset the router. Checked my laptop settings and even tried some automated Comcast support. I just couldn’t figure out the $#@&*ing Light.
Now, I’d like to blame the cancer or the chemo. I think I have a pretty good case to blame fatigue, but after about 45 minutes it hit me. What if the blinking light WAS supposed to blink (and I bet you didn’t count the symbols and thought I was using a different adjective). Sure enough, somewhere along the way I had actually fixed the internet. I just didn’t realize it because the u-Verse internet light is solid when it works and blinks when it doesn’t. Apparently for Comcast, a blinking light means things are working, so the problem is now solved. Damn $#@&*ing Light.
My Third Day T-Shirt
Yesterday was my first full day home from the hospital. I wore my Third Day t-shirt. Why does that matter you ask? Because my Third Day t-shirt was the one I was wearing the day before when I was discharged from the hospital. The astute reader of Rob will remember that I did take a shower (before soiling my sheets) so it’s not like I just never took it off. No my friends, I pulled a clean Third Day t-shirt from the closet, not 24 hours after I had been home because my wife rocks! I don’t know how she keeps up with everything, but somehow she managed to do laundry in the midst of everything else going on. I’m not only married to my best friend, but the most amazing person I know.
When Did They Grow Up
I was only gone for a few days, but it seems like the kids aged so much. I know they aren’t doing anything they weren’t doing before, but it just seems like they are so much older. Tucker (who will be 3 in July) engages me in full sentences that seem like they should be beyond his grasp. And the girls talk to me like they know exactly what is going on. Lindsey worked today (picked up an extra shift, again, I don’t know how she does it) so she wasn’t here when the girls got up. They both came into the room looking for mommy. I told them daddy was sleeping and Grandma Jane would be here soon. They said “That’s ok daddy. We’ll just get dressed. Is it cool, warm, or hot out because we need to know what to put on.” And after I told them it was hot out, they proceeded to get dressed and play quietly in their room until Grandma Jane came over for the day. Man they’re growing up. At least I don’t have to worry about boys yet.
And The Powerball Numbers Are
Now that I’m an outpatient, I’ll get labs on Mondays and Thursdays. During my first battle, I drove to Methodist hospital to get my labs. This was necessary for insurance reasons since we had IU Health insurance. Now that I have Anthem, things are a bit more flexible. Gone are the days of driving downtown, paying for parking, and waiting in a long line of other people. Here are the days of making an online appointment and driving 2 miles to a labcorp lab that gets me in and out (With apologies to MACL, but their lab was further away. Sorry Moyer). Labcorp faxes my labs to my nurse and I can see results online the same day (IUH results are delayed 3 days). So all in all, the Powerball numbers are getting a lot easier to get.
So whites are down ever so slightly. Hemoglobin and Platelets are up a bit. I should be hitting my low point between now and Monday, so we’ll see what Monday’s numbers hold. And I still have one more dose of chemo to go.
Singing Through a Blanket
I’m glad I’m home. I’m not glad I need to think about germs all the time. Lindsey went to bed around midnight and Natalie started crying around 12:30. I had my 30 minutes of energy built up, so I dutifully went to work trying to put her back to bed. The problem being, she was coughing something fierce. Now I think it was just your normal all day at the pool and I have some drainage kind of cough, but you can’t be too careful. I kept facing away from her and trying to coax her back to bed. Natalie wanted me to sing Amazing Grace, which is one of her favorite songs, and what daddy is going to say no to that. So I ended up cuddling next to my sweet little girl, put a blanket over my mouth to hopefully give me some level or protection, and sang a few verses of Amazing Grace. It’s great to be home!
A Duck Dynasty Prayer
Father God, we are a week into this and I can’t believe that some say it will take up to a year to complete everything. Can I do this 51 more times? Can I survive that long? Can my family survive that long? We all rest in you Lord God. We all gain our strength from you. With you on our side, whom shall we fear? With you on our side, who can stop us? We will carry on Lord. I will carry on. Each day I will battle. Each day I will cry out for your mercies. Each day I will proclaim that you are my God. Thank you for being by my side. Thank you for another day.