I’d like to try an update weekly, along with my visits with Dr. Nelson, but at the very least I’ll try and update fortnightly. I had my typical visit with Dr. Nelson on Monday. That was a little more than 6 weeks after my transplant. My creatinine has come down to 1.4. Still slightly above normal, but much better than the 4.4 it was. He advised that there was nothing different I should be doing and I’m on track for where he wants me at this point in my recovery. I go in for more labs tomorrow, just to check blood counts and the levels of the drugs I’m taking.
GVH, is That You?
I still haven’t had any concrete signs of GVH. That’s good in the sense that I haven’t had those side effects. Bad in the sense that I want a little GVH so my new cells have a chance to kill any remaining leukemia cells. Granted, I’ve had some symptoms of GVH, but not really enough to call it GVH. I’ll spare you the details, but there are times when I go through an awful lot of toilet paper.
Healing vs Hoping
Cancer is an interesting beast. I feel good. There is no sign of disease in my body, yet at times it lingers in the back of my mind. It’s not like, say, a broken bone. A broken bone you can watch heal. You can take x-rays. See the fracture. Then take more x-rays and see the healing of the bone. You know once it’s healed that it is practically as good as new. It may break again if you put yourself in circumstances to cause the break, but it’s not like you’ll just be driving down the road and your arm will break again.
Contrast that with Cancer. You won’t know when it’s back. You won’t feel it growing inside of you. But the cancer fire may very well spark again while you’re driving unsuspectingly down the road. One mutated cell divides and becomes two. Two divide and become four. The process continues until finally you notice.
I don’t know that you ever “heal” from cancer. That’s not to say that I won’t go on with life. From my first experience with remission, I’m sure I won’t think of cancer on a daily basis. I’ll get wrapped up in living life to its fullest. But there will always be that bruise. That bloody nose. That pain in my bones that will make me wonder. No, you never heal from cancer but you hope to never have to deal with it again.
And the Powerball Numbers Are:
I’ve gotten a little behind on sharing my CBC numbers. If you want to ride the roller coaster with me, they are below. But don’t worry too much about them going up and down. That’s normal, even if there is a little bit of mental torture when a number drops.
11/16/2015: WBC 3.6, Hemoglobin 11.3, Platelet 126
11/19/2015: WBC 2.7, Hemoglobin 10.2, Platelet 88
11/20/2015: WBC 2.7, Hemoglobin 10.0, Platelet 96
11/23/2015: WBC 3.4, Hemoglobin 10.3, Platelet 95
11/25/2015: WBC 3.3, Hemoglobin 9.6, Platelet 99
11/30/2015: WBC 3.2, Hemoglobin 9.0, Platelets 101
That’s About It
There isn’t much else going on, which I suppose is a good thing. It’s easy to write when there are new medical updates or things I need to think through. Right now I’m just walking the road to recovery one step at a time. I’m taking naps when I need to. Pushing myself when I can. And yes, I’m showering and brushing my teeth a bit more regularly. I’m also taking an online programming class to try and keep my mind challenged. I may not make all the deadlines, but it’s nice because I can work at my own pace.
A Duck Dynasty Prayer
God there is hope. There is hope in you. There is also healing. You alone can heal me. You alone know my future. I may not know if this cancer will every return, but you already know. I may wonder but may I never wander from you. Thank you for another day.