They said the 2 new chemos may make me more tired, and they were right. Or perhaps it was the 3 walks on the unit today (I’m supposed to get my lazy cancer butt out of bed when I feel up to it). Either way, I’m tired. So tonight I call in a guest speaker.
Kandice Robinson touched a lot of lives here on earth, including mine. She lost her battle with cancer in the summer of 2010 and I miss her. I’ve read over her caring bridge site a bit, and while our cancers are different, I still appreciate her words of wisdom. Below is an excerpt from one of Kandice’s updates. While I’m not to the “survivor” portion yet, her words resonate with some of the thoughts I’ve had. I’m not special, I’m normal, but if being normal helps other people out then by golly I’m gonna be the best kind of normal I know how. I just don’t want to be the focus.
A Word from Kandice
It just happens when you’re a cancer survivor, people just feel compelled to tell you how inspirational you are to them. Don’t get me wrong, I think that is right and good, but it’s just a little overwhelming when you’re on the receiving end. In our current cancer awareness culture, I feel like there’s been a big push to honor survivors as heroes and while honor has its place, I often don’t view myself as very heroic. Sometimes when people tell me I’m inspirational I think, “What did I do today? I got up and went to work, but so did most of my friends. Why isn’t anyone inspired by them?” I think what people are trying to communicate is that how I walk my journey encourages them in the walking of their journey…and if that’s the case, I guess I can accept the title of “inspirational.” The Bible actually says we are supposed to “spur one another on to love and good deeds,” meaning that just being around other Godly people should act like a kick in the pants for us to pursue God more. If being around me pushes people toward God, I’m happy to walk through life nudging everyone, but I’d also like to say I’m not the only one doing the nudging or inspiring around here. There are plenty of people who have made very deliberate choices on how to engage in my journey, whose actions should inspire others.Often it’s hard for me to accept the description of myself as an inspiration because I didn’t choose to have cancer. I know I have made other choices along the way, but given a choice I would not have chosen this life path. However, there are people in my life who have chosen to join this battle with me, people who have chosen to be committed and self sacrificing when they didn’t have to, people who have entered into “cancer-ville” when they could have just continued on their normal lives…and these are the people I think who are truly inspirational. So I’d like to take a moment to ask you to be inspired by someone other than me, by those who journey with us and whose actions often go unnoticed.
A Duck Dynasty Prayer
“,,,by those who journey with us and whose actions often go unnoticed.” Father, I thank you for those who journey with me. I thank you for their actions, for they are the inspirational ones. Thank you for another day. Amen.