Yesterday was a good day for feeling well.  I didn’t feel all that tired.  Lindsey was here all day for our “date day.”  One of the things I”m supposed to do is walk when I’m able.  Yesterday I walked the unit 3 times and set a personal best since I’ve been here of 7 laps at one time.  It kinda made me think of those professional speed walkers.  I can’t walk that fast, and usually it’s just a shuffling of my feet as I go along, but maybe I’ll shake my butt from side to side every now and then just to show I’m making progress and training towards doing 10 laps all at once.

I don’t watch the food network, but I am noticing the food on the shows I do watch.  Because of my neutropenia, I’ve decided to only eat food prepared in the hospital kitchen.  I most definitely appreciate the offer of goodies I receive, but for now I’m not eating anything besides hospital food.  So when I watch a sitcom and they go to a restaurant, I tend to lose track of the plot.  I look to see how big the meatballs are.  How cheesy the pizza is.  Did they just squeeze lemon on their calamari? Mmmmmmmm.  I don’t think I’ll be eating out much when I am released, especially since we have wonderful meals coming, but when I do I’ll be sure to enjoy every bite just a little bit more.

Thankfully I’ve had zero pain since I’ve been here.  Aside from a phenergan or two, I haven’t taken any meds beside the ones I get per my protocol.  Last night I felt the tiniest twinge of a headache coming on and told my nurse.  Normally tylenol or advil would take care of the trick at home, however they don’t want to mask a fever here so I can’t take those. So what did the doctor order for my twinge of a headache?  Yep, I got some oxycodone.  Must have been a small dose though, as I didn’t really feel anything other than the headache twinge went away.

Since my platelets fell yesterday, I knew my labs this morning would be even lower still.

WBC – 0.5

Hemoglobin – 6.7

Platelets – 8

With my platelets so low, it was time for an infusion. The nurse got everything set up early this morning and the plan was for me to keep sleeping while they infused.   I had already received one infusion of platelets without issue, but as you might have learned from a recent prospectus, past results are no guarantee of future returns.

I did “nap” through most of the infusion of platelets.  The infusion occurs over 15-20 minutes while the nurse watches me and takes vitals.  I was basically all done, when I nonchalantly itched my neck.  I was thinking about how I needed to trip my beard some so it wouldn’t become itchy, when the back of my hands started to itch too.

Itchiness is a sign of a reaction to the transfusion.  My nurse went to grab some benadryl and I patiently waited for the dose to make it’s way through the system of electronic order entry and pharmacy verification that I helped to implement over the years.  I laid still and tried not to scratch.  The itching spread to my legs and as I took the benadryl, my back began to itch.  My nurse went to grab something outside of the room, and I grabbed my phone to text Lindsey.

Hmmmm, this phones a bit blurry, better put on my glasses.  Hmmmm, my glasses are on?  I got off a quick text to Lindsey, and then ever the faithful student of medicine, I asked Dr. Google if blurry vision was a side effect of the transfusion.  I didn’t really get very far, as I decided I should just be a good patient and hit my call button.

I don’t remember actually hitting my call button, but I’m told I did (go me).  The next thing I remember is a different nurse by my bedside trying to wake me up.  I was on my side and then realized I was moaning slightly.  She had wash clothes and was asking how I felt.  I could see the shape of her, but not any details.  Everything was pretty blurry.  I dutifully passed on this information and then blacked out again.

The next time my eyes opened, I was feeling better but there was a lot of commotion.  I had a well trained crew of people in red tops and black pants (and all black shoes) beside my bed drawing blood, wiping down my sweat, and making sure I had fluids running.  I had an attending and resident at the foot of my bed, and a few other people around too.  It seemed to me that no time had passed between the first nurse, and this room full of people but obviously I’d been out for a bit.

So the conclusion is that my blood and the particular donor I received platelets from don’t get along too well.  Perhaps we fought on the playground once.  Perhaps I cut in front of her while driving. Or maybe she ticked me off in the checkout lane as she insisted on searching for exact change (this ain’t 1980 lady).  Either way, I’m hopeful this is a one time issue. I will get some additional meds before my next transfusion, and my prayer is that everything goes well.  The doctors seem optimistic that I will be fine next time.

Getting Back to Uneventful

I’ve spent a lot of today resting from the events of this morning.  I had a good breakfast and am starting to feel more like myself.  Although I only felt bad for a little bit, I’m very grateful for everyone who jumped in to help me out.  I should get a transfusion of red blood cells this afternoon.  Here’s to that being uneventful.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night, and you’re not quite sure where you are.  That happens to me in the hospital. I  hear a strange noise, or perhaps try to roll over to find Lindsey and I wake up not sure where I am.  I say to myself “I’m in the hospital.  I have leukemia.” and then I lay there for a bit.  I don’t always fall back asleep right away.  Sometimes it’s a quick conversation with myself.  Sometimes it’s a prayer.  Sometimes it’s just time laying and waiting.

One of the things I think about at night and during the day is death to cancer.  I’m going to be a bit selfish and say it is death to my cancer in a lot of my thoughts, but overall I’m 100% in support of the death penalty for all cancers.  With my first round of chemo done, the main goal is to see no more signs of cancer in my next bone marrow biopsy.  Since my body had cancer, and I have a test coming up where I need to show no cancer, my true and sincere hope is that all those little cancer cells die away and get flushed down the toilet.

Here are my latest numbers.  For you normal lads and lasses out there, you wouldn’t want numbers this low.  This is the time in my treatment where all my blood count numbers bottom out because as the cancer dies (DIE CANCER DIE) so do my other, healthy, blood cells (sorry fellas).  The numbers I get are in thousands, so when you see 0.6 that is really 600 cells in the count.

WBC – 0.6 (normal 4 – 11)

Hemoglobin – 7.4  (normal 14 – 17)

Platelets – 11 (normal 150 – 450)

ANC – 0.1

I hear this every morning from my medical team.  It’s a waiting game.  Everything looks good.  Everything is on track, so we will watch the blood counts and see when they come back up.  I’d much rather be on track than off track, and so far thank the Lord I’ve been good at waiting (I’m usually not).  I have a routine and I’m blessed to not have many side effects.  Sometimes I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Thank you for all your prayers.  To me, there is no other reason that I am feeling ok.  I’ve been told that I will most likely develop a neutropenic fever and mouth sores (they don’t know how much I really sucked those ice chips).  Both are manageable, and my current prayer request is that I would get through each ok.  Well that and DIE CANCER DIE.

I’m sleeping a lot.  I’ve developed a dog like sleep.  You know, where the dog will be laying all comfy, might hear something, open one eye, check it out and think”screw it, this ain’t worth waking up for” and then go right back to sleep.  At other times when I need to perform for a treat (say food, or a room cleaning) I jump awake and make it look like I’ve always been aware of what’s going on.  Truth is I’ve been “resting” most of today.  This is my second burst of energy, and I’m trying to use it wisely.  Basically I’ve been able to sleep most of the day without issue.

You’ve all figured out I’m honest by now, and I don’t really have an off topic topic.  So any guesses what the ice tea reference is to?  Yep, my urine.  Since I’ve been in the hospital I’ve been brewing all kinds of shades.  I think this particular one is related to my chemo, as they said my urine may get darker.  I don’t know why, perhaps it was health class, but I’m trying to drink enough water to have clear urine.  Right now it’s ice tea, I think I’ll set a goal to aim for a light beer  color and go from there.

I received a lot of cards and some great gifts today that definitely help out with my stay.  If I had enough energy, I’d probably cry.  Wonder if those would be tears of ice tea?